THE FIRST TIME MIGHT BE YOUR LAST
by OCDforBechloe
Summary: First Fan fiction, please be kind. Just needed to try! Just a little catharsis here...about meeting someone special, and learning that feeling and letting someone in is not always a bad thing! I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS...THIS IS JUST FICTION..NOT INTENDED TO FOLLOW MOVIE STORYLINE
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Beca's POV**

**Present Day**

There she was...Chloe. I'm not sure when I started to see Chloe as something more than just a friend. We have spent so much time together in the last months...But something clicked, something changed, and now I don't know what to do...

**September 2012**

I have always been fine spending time on my own. An only child, I am comfortable in my own space, my own thoughts, my alone time. I was never a person who needed to be around others. However, moving to college and sharing my space with a roommate who obviously loathes my existence makes it difficult. I long for privacy, to be able to shut the world out. My father, was less than accommodating to my request for moving to a single room. There were options available, but he would not allow me to just withdrawal from the college experience, as I have done so many times in life.

To say I am a loner, is not accurate. I know how to be around others, I was even active in high school, although, for me it was less about social activities, as it was, an outlet for my creativity and a way to avoid being home with a new Step-Parent always present. I took classes in music, and theatre, so that I could gain more experience to follow my dream. I hated performances, and preferred to take roles that put me in the background, because after all, I want to be a director, not a player. However, my Catholic high school had very few opportunities for someone like me. I participated in the choir, and in musicals. Sometimes I provided my own arrangements and music when able, but heading to college, despite my protests, I thought was going to be finally different. No more school uniforms, no more stupid choir, I was finally going to be able to be myself. I was not going to be forced to conform to anything.

But now, it felt all too similar. I would have to conform...I would have to play the good daughter and follow my Dad's rules to get out of this...ok fine. If he needs me to participate, I know how to do that. If the interning at Radio Station isn't enough for him, I will just join that stupid a cappella thing. I did the choir in high school, this wouldn't be any different. Just show up, sing, feel stupid, but get the box checked on Dad's list, and then I'll be free.

So I grabbed my shower bucket, and headed to get ready. I was lost in music, Titanium was absolutely consuming my mind. I have a great mix I'm working on, and I can't stop running it through my head. As I sing, I don't notice the low sounds coming from the shower stall. I take off my robe and enter the shower...geez I hate public bathrooms!

"Bullet proof nothing to lose...fire away, fire away..."

Dude...

Wait, who does this? Who ever just enters another person's shower. WTF?

I can barely think...this discussion is ridiculous, but that girl is so engaging, so unfazed by the complete inappropriate situation. How is anyone this comfortable? Even when they look like she does. How is this possible?

Fine...if I sing, she'll leave, and I'll die if this situation does not go away. I can hardly breathe with my embarrassment.

She starts to sing, and it's incredible. I know I can sing. Perfect Pitch is something I have always been able to achieve. My range isn't large, but I can pick any note at any time. However, the sound coming out of this women is beyond beautiful. It matches my voice...perfectly. "See you at auditions"...she says as she leaves, and I am left, completely speechless, and ever changed. What the ...was that?

I had planned on the auditions...I know this is what I need to get to LA, but after that shower experience..I am nervous, like uncomfortably nervous.

I watch everyone else at the Auditions...god I hate American Idol, and really Kelly Clarkson? I will not sing that, its not me, and I can't pull that off. So when it was over, I actually think about leaving until the red-head from the shower sees me. My eyes lock to hers, and for someone reason...I go completely red. Why am I nervous...this is stupid. When I snap out of it I hear her say...wait there is another...Crap..I would have to go through with this...So I just wing it, if I am going to go down in flames, at least I'll go down my way!

After the audition...I head back to my dorm. The stupid a cappella thing was probably not a good idea anyway. I mean, how would I ever have time for my mixes and the Radio Station, oh yeah, and at least passing the stupid 12 hours of course work I have to do to get Dad to let me out of this college thing. Then it happens, there is a knock on my door, and a hood over my head. This is so stupid...

Ok and wait, this is not something I'm comfortable with...someone pulling me through stairs and down hallways. I try to stay calm, but hate every minute of this...whatever it is... When it finally stops, and I hear others in the room I know that nothing will ever be so stupid as what is about to happen.

Repeat after me... "Really?" I have to tell myself over, and over again, this will get me to LA, this will get me to LA.

I snap out of it...just in time to hear...it's time to drink the blood of our sisters, 'Wait what... the blood of What?" And then the redhead is before me, "Don't worry, it's Boone's Farm..." with a wink...ok fine, obviously this women can get me to do all sorts of embarrassing things,

"wait...how is that possible?" I tell myself..


	2. Chapter 2

**Beca's POV**

Chapter 2

So after initiation...the whole group heads out to the amphitheater for Initiation night. I'm still not sure I want to be here, but I need to make the effort. I actually am amused to meet all the girls in our group. I met Amy briefly during the activities fair, but when introduced at Initiation, I knew we would be friends. Amy is genuinely one of the funniest people I've ever met. She is so comfortable with herself, and has an incredible amount of self-confidence, something I would have never guessed. Her sense of humor is twisted...and I love it. The other girls are interesting and different in their own ways. Stacie is confident, it will take sometime for us to get to know each other, but I love the comfort she has in her own skin. Cynthia Rose is sweet..but...she seems less confident than I would have expected in these surroundings. In my mind I think...Aubrey, well Aubrey and I got off on the wrong foot from the beginning. I would have guessed she was the president of her campus sorority, but now I know she lives for the Bellas...and that seems to fit.

And then there's Chloe...hmmmmm. I can't figure her out, why can't I figure her out? She seems to be the picture of happiness, completely together, no inhibitions. I mean, who doesn't have inhibitions? There is something about her that's...Magnetic? Wait...what? It's not like me to jump to these thoughts, I mean everyone has flaws, but this woman seems to intrigue me beyond my comfort zone! I'm so lost in my thoughts that I completely miss her running towards me, and as she pulls me in, I instinctively pull back so that I don't crash into her. Her energy is contagious, and it is beyond unsettling. I try to act casual, and wink when she says we will be fast friends. I'm so glad I recovered, as I literally can't think straight when she is so close to me. I'm not sure what to do with myself, so I nervously pull away, and she heads for her "jiggle juice!" I spend the rest of the evening just watching the group, this is not what I expected college to be...I want to retreat to my cocoon, I head back to my dorm room, and mentally block my new roommate out with my headphones. Sleep comes quickly, and I'm thankful for the day to be over.

**October 2012**

I show up for practice early...I mean, let's face it, I'm still not attending that many classes. My days consist mainly of sleeping in, working on my music mixes for hours on end, and then going to Bellas rehearsals. As long as I keep a passing grade in my courses, I've fulfilled my father's obligations for this school year. And, why would anyone need to show up to class for Intro to Recreation? After my 6 years of German, I think German 101 is pretty much a skate course, and the syllabus outlines the test dates. My Theology 102 class is a breeze after 4 years of Catholic school. And as far as I'm concerned...since my tuition is waived due to my Father's tenure on staff, really one less student is actually helping the professors...right?

So yes, I am early for Bellas rehearsal... again. This is the one obligation that could back-fire on me without a little effort on my part. Aubrey has it in for me...as I don't fit the "Bella Standards"

I sit down in the back of the Auditorium, listening to my latest mix, when I see one of the doors open and in walks...oh God...Chloe.

She looks around, but seemingly doesn't notice me slouched in my seat at the back of the auditorium. I watch as she sits herself behind the Grand Piano and begins to play. I take off my headphones, and listen as she just lightly runs her fingers through a few scales...she seems to be just playing around, and then she stops and readjusts her seat. Looking around one last time, she begins to play.

The sound is amazing, and I recognize the piece right off, my god she can really play! She is playing the 2nd Movement of Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto #2, as if it is the most effortless activity int he world. Her hands easily glide over the keys, and I am taken, completely with this vision. I mean, she is incredible. I'm not a huge fan of classical music, and only know this piece because we reviewed it in my Music Theory class. I had briefly taken music theory as a pre-credit over the summer break 2 years ago, it seemed to make sense at the time. I didn't realize I would like Classical music, but found that it came in handy when playing with a few of my mixes, as some modern music drew from these classics, and it was great to be able to reference them. Now, more than ever I think I understand the beauty of this piece. It builds to a point of "Climax?!", and I can't help but feel taken away by this incredibly beautiful woman playing such an amazing piece of music, to an empty space. I must have fidgeted slightly in my chair, uneasy with what I am currently feeling, because my chair creaks loudly and she suddenly stops her playing, and looks up in my direction. Embarrassed, as if I have been watching her in an incredibly personal and intimate moment, I blush and wave from the top seat, and clap my hands, trying to break the tension. She just stands and takes a bow before bounding her way up the stairs to greet me!

"You caught me" she exclaims after pulling me into a hug. I'm so surprised at the sudden contact, I continue to blush furiously. She just looks at me and laughs..."Oh my that is adorable!..."How long have you been sitting up here?" she asks.

"I came in a bit ago, and was lost in my music here until I heard you begin to play...Wow you are amazing Chloe!... that's a really difficult piece and you played it like a professional"..I said trying to hide my face, feeling a little more than I should for this new 'friend".

"You are just so sweet, thank you"...I would not have guessed this was your kind of music Beca! Are you a fan of classical music?" She said as she bent slightly forward...trying to regain my gaze from where it was currently focused on the floor.

"I am now"..I said in a whisper hoping she didn't hear what just escaped my lips...however her grin made me think she might have caught it!

"Hey Beca? what is that you were listening to before I so rudely interrupted?" She said helping me change the subject.

"Oh, I was just working on a mash-up. I am trying to mix this old standard with a new more updated sound. It's something I've been working on for a bit, but I can't seem to get it to work too well." I said regaining my composure a bit more.

"I didn't know you were into this stuff? That's pretty cool, sounds like it's pretty intricate though" She said...again helping me get at ease with the conversation.

"No, it's not difficult, just takes time to find the right songs. It's my passion, and something I hope to do in the future..."

"Well, I'd love to hear something if you ever want to share" she said finally getting me to look into her eyes. God they are beautiful..I think to myself, and I just stare into them, feeling lost...the warmth I find in her smile makes my heart jump.

At that point, the rest of the crew starts to file into the auditorium, and I am jerked awake from my gaze. "Hey what's up you two?" I hear from below, and I quickly bend down to gather my laptop. Chloe...still looking at me, helps me gather my pack, and follows me down to join the group.

When we reach the rest of the group she sits my bag down on the table, and joins Aubrey in the front of the room, and as Aubrey begins her speech for the day, Chloe looks over at me and winks...and I swallow hard against the lump that immediately finds its way to my throat.

...What the hell was that? Oh God, Oh no...this is not good, this is not good at all...I tell myself, STOP IT...you need to stop thinking Beca. This is a check mark in the box of your life to LA, this is no time to develop of crush...let alone a crush on her, don't do this to yourself! But you already know it's too late...and somehow you think...she knows it too.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**November 2012**

Bellas rehearsals are going well for me...and I've managed to gain a little more perspective on my time at Barden. I've pulled together all my class assignments, and am now studying for final exams. Luckily, my roommate has decided to move out and live in a dorm closer to her friends next semester, which is great. I think this may be in small part to my ever intrusive new set of friends...one of which, Amy, has a bad habit of eating suckers all the time, and implanting her left over sucker sticks in Kimmy Jin's plants, like little tree limbs! For some reason Kimmy Jin really doesn't appreciate this...which even with my repeated requests for Amy to stop...she seems to ignore, and deep down I can't help but giggle at her ability to drive Kimmy Jin insane!

I can't wait to live by myself next semester...as my privacy is so important, and I've missed having my own space to retreat.

I make myself scarce for the last few weeks of school, so that Kimmy Jin can pack without having me lingering around. I find more and more reason to be at the Station, and out with my new friends. Our rehearsals are ridiculous, and I go through the motions...reminds me so much of high school, and Aubrey plays the overbearing Choir Director ever so well! It's this time that I notice Chloe struggling a bit with her high notes, and realize that something is terribly off. She always has Tea with her, and has to drink this prior to any rehearsal, but something just isn't right. It's not the normal warming up of your voice routine that I'm used to.

When I was in high school, my Choir Director would push us beyond our limits...late practices, no rest, and I would constantly lose my voice over the strain of un-relenting practices. I know the pain of trying to keep well, so I think this may be something that Chloe is dealing with. When I finally approach her, she tells me that she has vocal nodules that are causing her to lose her voice. I am completely heart-broken for her, as I know how much singing and performing are important in her life. I wonder why she would risk doing more damage to her voice with this competition, but understand how much the Bellas mean to her, so I don't push it.

As finals wind down, everyone seems so excited to be heading home for the holidays. I meet up with the Bellas for a going a way party after finals week ends. It's a low key party, just hanging out at Aubrey and Chloe's off campus apartment. It's pretty vacant, as many students have already left town for the holidays, so everyone is comfortable getting a little rowdy! Stacie showed up with at least 4 different guys in tow, each one thinking they were her "date" for the evening. It was quite amusing to see each of the Bellas taking a turn at keeping the other guys busy while Stacie had her way with one in another room. In any other situation, there would have been judgement about her...but Stacie was a free spirit, and the Bellas supported her Lifestyle choice...however many she decided to choose!

I stayed pretty quiet, as usual in these gatherings, I was always looking for a way to be present, but just observe and not really join in. This never seemed to bother my new friends..they gave me my space, well at least they let me be the social miss-fit that I was comfortable being. All until later that night...when everyone decided to play "I Never." It was just a remaining few outside of the Bellas, the random boyfriends and girlfriends and our group. Aubrey pulled out a large bottle of Maker's Mark, and insisted that we all play. Chloe who sat next to me, whispered in my ear that this was Aubrey's plan to get the group to completely bond and come together. Everyone took a glass, and filled their cups. And the game began...

Aubrey: "I never cheated on an exam" and around the room, some of the group took sips, the others smiled proudly.

Denise: "I never ran a marathon", and again around the room, some drank, only 2 smiled proudly...Chloe and Aubrey...figures!

Ok Acabitches...this is boring, let's pump up this game to a new level, I feel like I'm in the Girl Scouts...Cynthia Rose Said!

Tom: I've never kissed another guy...and the rest of the room drank, except for Cynthia Rose and Denise...hmm, no surprise there..I think to myself.

Chloe: "I've never sung to anyone naked before" No one drank...except for Chloe and me...and this did not go unnoticed by our group! My Face went completely red, as I felt the alcohol kick in and the room temp immediately rise! She leaned over to whisper in my ear..."That's our moment Becs" and she smiled that gorgeous smile, and the blush went to Red hot! As I felt her breath tickle my ear.

"Do tell"...Amy said..."Do tell!" And Everyone went silent...

Chloe explained our shared shower experience, and cat calls abounded the room, with me absolutely mortified! I tried to explain how completely freaked out I was, and everyone laughed at the idea of me singing Chloe's "Lady Jam"...completely nude, as my personal space was legendary at this point!

But what was noticed most by me, was the look Chloe gave me, the look that teased me, that wink that spoke to my heart. Why did she keep doing this to me? In the past weeks, I had learned to stay calm when Chloe flirted with me. I learned that she liked to touch everyone, she was naturally warm, so I could never expect that her actions were anything different towards me from that of any of her friends. She had tons of guys that flirted with her, and were always around her, and then there was the guy in the shower. She was straight, of this I had no doubt. At least thats what I kept telling myself, that's what I needed to believe.

I began to drink more easily after this point, because I couldn't get comfortable, she had my mind reeling and I just needed some distraction.

The game lucky broke up soon after this, as it was stupid, and once round to Stacie, there was nothing she had never done...so you couldn't win!

After a rousing game of seven degrees of Michael Jackson...the group started to dance and get more loose together. Aubrey had already left for the evening, choosing to drive Jessica and Amy home. She said she was going to stay the night with Amy, because she was afraid she would do something crazy! She had gone full out on her Crocodile Dundee persona, and was ready to stalk an alligator in the pond behind the Gym, so Aubrey was going to keep her in line.

I stayed behind to help with the clean-up of the party. All the guys left to my surprise, as I was sure Chloe had someone planned to spend the evening with, but then no, every guy in the room left out the back to head out to a FRAT party on campus. As a few of the Bellas picked up their jackets, and followed, I was left with Chloe, and the alcohol buzzing around in my head.

"Thanks for staying and helping me pick-up...but it's really not necessary"..Chloe said.

"Oh do you want me to go?" I said, hoping she didn't.

"No, No, I just meant, you don' t have to help clean up...I don't usually expect our guests to clean after a party." She smiled brightly...seemingly unfazed by alcohol.

"I don't mind...I mean what kind of friend would I be if I just bailed on you!" I said, just trying to seem normal.

"You are so sweet Beca Mitchell...I think I might have to bottle you and keep you with me at all times!" the redhead said...with eyes that caused me to swallow...hard...

"Geez, ok, I'm not sweet, you are just my Kryptonite or something...cause have you seen my room, I don't even clean my own room up!" I said..trying to regain myself.

"Well Superfly DJ..., if I'm your Kryptonite, I'm honored to be, cause I know not much gets through that tough exterior!" She said with her normal wink that broke my reserve. So what are you plans for Break Becs?

"I'm staying here...my Mom and StepDad are having his family over this year, and that's not my scene". I said calmly..."really, any holiday is not my scene in general."

"Really? I would have expected you to be waiting up for Santa every year, with hot cocoa and cookies in hand..." She teased.

"Grrrr...What did I say about that Chloe, I'm tough, stop trying to make me sound like a cupcake!" I huffed!

"Cupcake huh, I like that. Yes, that would have to stick... DJ Cupcake!" she said as she joined me on the couch.

"Now that the room is clean, what do you want to do?" She asked.

"Well, I am trying to give Kimmy Jin some space as she is packing up her side of the room, you don't mind do you?" I asked, not ready to leave her.

"Well Yes, actually I have a date coming around in about 30 minutes and I need to slip into something a little more...ummmmmm?" She said bluntly

My heart immediately sinks, "oh well then..." I look up and see a devilish grin and she begins to giggle...

"Awww Cupcake...that was too cute, it was like someone just stole your headphones!"and then she grabs me and snuggles into my neck...and I feel her lips brush my collar, and my breath is gone immediately...I literally can't move.

She senses me tense, and she pulls back, and looks directly in my eyes. "Beca, are you ok?" As I turn my head and try to hide my emotions.

"Beca, babe, tell me what's going on..." I can feel her struggling to find me, as I struggle to not let her see, not let her notice what she does to me.

As I turn, with panic in my eyes, I know she sees it in my face..."Chloe, I feel something, that I can absolutely not feel, and I don't understand what's happening to me."

"Beca, I'm sorry, please don't pull away, whatever I've done, I'm so sorry, I would never want to make you uncomfortable. Please talk to me..." she pleads now...

But it's too late, I run...I run, and I don't look back!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

December 2012

Thanksgiving comes and goes. I Skype my Mom, and let her know how much I love and miss her...but that work at the Station has been really great, and since almost everyone goes home for the holidays, it really has opened up a spot for me to actually do what I want to do in my internship...play music! It's the overnight shift, so not too many people have heard my mixes, but I think at least if they are getting out there...I'm making headway.

My father invited me over for dinner on Thanksgiving, and I made the effort to see him and the Step-Monster. I mean...I don't stay long of course, and I show up practically right before dinner is served. Honestly...I truly can't stand always being surrounded by their group of friends, and feeling so much different than who "they" collectively are. I am not impressed by their money, and the judgement they share of almost anyone and everything is completely draining. I hate how much I don't speak out, when they discuss politics that are abhorrent to me, and their immediate assumptions that everyone should act and feel as they do. I can't wait to leave their presence, and no matter how much I miss and love my father, deep down, my parents divorce broke me and I can't forgive him for his part in that. The time I spend with him now that I'm at Barden, feels like I betray my mom because she is so far away I never see her, and I prefer to be alone than betray either of them.

When I get back to my dorm, now a single...which I love...I fall back to my bed and close my eyes. My mind flies back to 2 nights ago...at Aubrey and Chloe's party. Chloe had tried to text me that night and the next day to meet up, but I had blown her off, making up an excuse about helping Kimmy Jin move out. I knew she'd know it was a lie, but I couldn't face her. There were too many things that I needed to work out first. Now, I am alone on campus, and I have the time to think this through, but I can't make any sense of it. What was going on...I needed to figure this out before I see her again. I can't risk loosing the one person on this campus that seems to "get" me, and make this all worthwhile.

So ok, it's a crush right...I mean, that's what it is. So I saw her naked, wait, let's not think about that, it's way too much...I saw her play the piano, and I know I felt something then. Who wouldn't? She's gorgeous, she's absolutely breathtaking just looking at her. But if you add her talent...she has an incredible voice, despite having vocal nodules, her voice is perfection. And the way she can take an incredibly difficult Piano Concerto and make it look like it is nothing out of the ordinary, I mean...it's sexy, it's incredibly hot! Those fingers...what those fingers can do without even an effort. My mind starts to race, as I close my eyes...Wow...and I let myself go there for the first time ever, and before my brain even catches up to me...my hands and body are reacting to the thoughts of her. I'm catholic, I DON'T DO THIS, LIKE EVER...but yet, maybe I can, because I am wet, and I am imagining Chloe in my mouth, and on my skin. Just thinking about her touching my hands, I can feel her breath on my body...I reach for my breast as I feel my nipples grow hard...WAIT this is my friend, these are not friendly feelings...I tell myself, but it's way too late for that. I know what I want and what I need...months of frustration hitting all at once, my hand travels to my jeans, as I quickly unbutton them. I feel myself...and can't believe how wet I am at just thoughts of the redhead that is haunting me...I want to feel Chloe, and imagine that she is touching me, feeling my wetness, suddenly I imagine she whispers in my ear and I hear her say...Beca...it's a whisper?...Wait a minute...my eyes are closed, but I hear it again...Beca...louder this time and I know I did not imagine that? OH GOD PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE...

I open my eyes to see her there...standing in the doorway, I jump up, and my jeans fall down to my ankles...

"Chloe...please no...don't be here" I say it as a prayer, but she can hear me as I pull my jeans up and sit on my bed in complete shock and horror...

"Ummm, so your door was unlocked, and I knocked but you must not have heard me, so I tried the door and it was open, so I opened it, I'm really sorry Beca!"

"Please don't look at me" I say, scrambling to compose myself, as I am shattered in pieces before her in utter devastation at what she has witnessed.

"Listen, Beca, it's ok...it's not like we don't all do it, and you already even know what my LADY JAM music is, but really I never expected Classical to be your thing..."

...and then it dawned on her...yes, it was Rachmaninoff that was playing, and no that is not MY thing, and oh man...

I'm beyond red, and tears are streaming down my face...

"Beca I'm so sorry...but I need to talk to you..."

"Now? You really need to speak to me NOW...can you not see that I am coming apart here Chloe?" I say, more than embarrassed, but frustrated at how easily she invades my most intimate moments..."I mean come on"...I need my personal space, how is it that she can do this?

"Yes Beca, I just drove 7 hours over the holidays to come speak with you now...and this is important. I will wait for you out in the common area if you need a few moments...but we need to talk now." she said bluntly, sounding more like Aubrey than herself.

"Chloe"...I look up, but she is out the door before I can say anything...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Present Day**

I pull myself together and find Chloe out in the common area of the dorm, she sits quietly on the couch, yet she doesn't seem to have her normal "Chloeiness" about her. It's slightly unnerving...considering what she just walked in on, I would have expected her to be in utter bliss at catching me so compromised...something she takes so much joy in usually. Although I was upset, so perhaps that has her concerned.

"Chloe...what's going on?" considering what just happened, you're kind of freaking me out with your seriousness. "What is it and why are you here?"

"Beca, I tried so hard to find you after the party, and at least talk about what it is that upset you so much, but you shut me out...Now I haven't been able to focus on anything else, and that's not like me." she continued "I enjoy this time of year and being with my family, yet all I could think about was getting here and back to you. That's very new for me...You know, I realize that everyone thinks I'm just a bundle of joy, and bouncing through my life, but the truth is, I have to be that way...and for everyone around me. No one seems to like me if I'm not the "Happy Chloe", who let's caution fly in the wind...and doesn't worry about anything...but that's not really me Beca.

"Chloe...I don't.." I try to speak but she cuts me off

"Wait, let me finish please...I realize that you are guarded, I get that, I wouldn't be much of a Psych major if I didn't understand that Beca Mitchell has walls that keep her safe...but you and I have something here Beca...I know it and you know it...and I'm really quite tired of not acknowledging these feelings...at least for myself."

I blink...

"Now it's your turn to speak Beca...can you tell me exactly how you feel about me?... not just I feel "something" but what that something is?" She asks pointedly.

I blink again...

"Beca...I need to hear what is going on, because if we are just friends, I can handle that, but I won't go through more nights not sleeping because I don't know where you stand..."She asks again...looking directly in my eyes

"Chloe...I don't know what you want me to say..." I say, trying to deflect her gaze

"Beca, I want you to tell me how you feel..." She says evenly..no hint of emotion.

"You kind of have me on the ropes at the moment here Chloe..." I say nervously

"Then stop sparing with me Beca, and tell how you feel..." She says, more insistently.

I blink again...

"Ok, well if you can't tell me, than I think I know where you stand." she sighs and seems defeated. She stands up and heads towards the elevator.

"Chloe wait...give me a minute here to catch up..." I say in desperation at seeing her move towards the door.

She turns and looks at me..and I cross the room in front of her, and rest on the back of a chair as I take her hands in mine.

"Chloe...I have never felt this way before, so please try to be patient with me on this...it's not a feeling I ever imagined I could have."

What feeling Beca? she asks more gently

"I'm supposed to be your friend, something I'm not real great at if you can believe that".. I smirk... "and when I met you, and all the Bellas I finally was able to have girlfriends."

"Yeah, it's great isn't...so we're friends, that's how you feel?" she asks

"Yes, no... I mean, yes...now I have friends and that's great, and I didn't think my heart could open up to allow so many people in, and it's been overwhelming and scary for me, but also really great." I say a little shaky

"I'm happy for you Beca." She says, with a slight smile..her baby blues looking darker now.

"But then there is you Chloe...and I know that what I feel is something much more than I should be feeling for a friend. It's taken me a longtime to figure that out, and I'm still trying to understand it..." I say, looking at her reaction...I see her smile form and her eyes brighten for the first time today.

"oh...ok...so what your saying..." she begins

"Geesh Chloe, make a girl spell it out why don't you" I say cutting her off. "Fine...so what I'm saying is that I realize that there IS such a thing as a Toner...and although your my friend, I've been distracted by it since the day you walked into my shower..." I say with a smile, feeling more confident and trying to lighten the mood. I pull her into an embrace around her waist, and look up at her...tearing...

"You stole my sense of direction that day Chloe...and I've been desperately trying to keep myself upright since then. I'm just sorry that I've been so scared to admit it to myself and to you...as the tears fall, I look into her eyes smiling...knowing that she will be there...

"And with that...she grabs my face and pulls me to her...and kisses me on my lips, soft and sweetly, and kisses my tears as they fall...

"A Toner...really? I thought you said that wasn't a real thing!" She laughs through her own tears and pulls me towards my dorm room.

Yeah, well...a lot of things are pretty Aca-mazing these days! I smile as she pulls me to my bed.

"Oh really"..with a gleam in her gorgeous baby blues.."Does the DJ Cupcake think she really knows what Aca-amazing is?" and I am immediately out of my mind...as I watch her change my laptop music from Rachmoninoff to David Guetta's...Titanium...

**Please write reviews if you want me to continue...I'm very new at this, so not sure if its worth continuing! Thanks for your feedback!**


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